Sunday, December 26, 2010

It's Over, 2010! Wait... You're Breaking Up With Me? NO FAIR!!



Dear 2010,

The night we met I knew we were meant for each other, even though you were a little young for me. It was New Year’s Eve and you were wearing that little white number. It was revealing without being clingy – you carried it off with your chubby smile, your sweet laugh, and your winning, though somewhat naïve, outlook that made everyone love you the moment they set eyes on you.

You were as bubbly and forgiving as a first glass of champagne. I was ready to get serious, for real this time. You inspired me, made me feel young again, too. You were so forgiving in those days. Fast forward twelve months and you’re the one calling it quits? And it’s all MY fault?


Okay so I got a little carried a way on New Year’s Eve, maybe I shouldn’t have had that second and third glass of champagne.

Yes, I know. You don’t have to remind me. I made a LOT of promises to you. I couldn’t help myself. You had that way of making me forget my failures. I toasted you and what you meant to me, to all of us: a clean slate. One last chance to start over.

I admit, I’ve had my ups and downs this year. Those promises I made? Yes, I know. 2009 read me the riot act around this time last year. I don’t want to even mention 2006. New Year’s Eve 2007 was not pretty. 2008 I can’t even remember now. All those other years? They meant nothing to me.

You WERE different, 2010: the last year of the naughty aughties, double null set, the decade a millennium dawned. Wow, remember all those crazy predictions when the decade started? Y2K? Now it’s Y2K plus 10. When I met you, 2010, and made all of those promises, I really WAS going to follow through and get serious. For once.

So I got a little side-tracked. You know I meant well.

What?  That doesn’t matter to you? So you’re leaving me to 2011? 2011 doesn’t know me the way that you do. 2011 is going to have bigger expectations of me. I know you've been talking already. Can you give me a break? 

If we’re going to be honest, I have to tell you that you are not looking so good. You could use a shave, maybe a face-lift. And that old white toga you’ve been wearing? It is so last millennium. It is NOT attractive. 

What are you saying? I’m not getting any younger? So you’re gonna kick me while I’m down? Oh now there, are those tears I see slipping through the wrinkles on your face? Okay, okay.  I’m sorry. You did your best and I’m sorry I let you down. I promise,...er,... I'll try to do better next year.

Hey – is that 2011 out there? You didn’t mention those sweet little dimples he has. He’s kinda cute. Hey, he even giggled at me. Hey, 2011 – I haven’t seen you around here before. Want to hang out?

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